I've got another weigh-in to report. After three weeks of stagnation, I have some movement in the scale to report.
It's movement, but not in the direction I had hoped. Last week I weighed 241.5. This week I'm up 2.7 pounds. I'm mad, but not just about this one number.
I have this feeling like I don't have control over my life. I have been stuck around the same weight for an entire year now, and while I have experienced plenty of non-scale victories since then, I still feel stuck. If there's candy, cake, or bad food, I can't help but reach for it. No matter how well I think I'm doing, I can somehow justify shoving my fat face full of sweets.
I keep having a dream where my beard is shaved off. I'm not sure how it happened, but at least part of it is always gone. I always freak out about it too. I don't know what it means, but it always makes me feel uneasy.
I feel lost.
I want to be in control. I want to lose weight. I want to feel good about myself. I just don't know where to start.
Any suggestions?
I have been the same lately with sweets, its like crack-if sugar was crack. When I get stuck I start doing hard intervals with weird types of cardio. When I start actually just saying no to sweets and back to weighing myself. lol
ReplyDeleteLosing your beard in the dream may be a subconscious fear of the identity changes that come with weight loss. I totally understand what you mean about wanting to feel in control ... and that brings me back to your dream, too, I suppose: there are so many things about the weight loss journey that are out of your control (or are difficult to feel in control of). But your beard grows on its own, no matter what you weigh. So not knowing how part of your beard has gone missing is likely related to control-centered anxiety as well.
ReplyDeleteIf I have junk food around, I will always choose it over carrot sticks and a glass of water, even though I know better. Cake will always taste better to me than vegetables (until they invent a red velvet squash). So, I make sure that I never have junk food around. It's unbelievably tough, I know, but that's one little thing you can be in control of. Take each day one day at a time, or even one situation at a time. Taking control of seemingly small things adds up!
start now, right now.... make it through an hour, then a day. Build upon your success and there will be a week. It is hard and it is a daily struggle. There are no quick fixes, no magic diets, just get through a day and keep building
ReplyDeleteCarry water with you 24/7 so when you want to reach for that cake you can drink your water instead
carry gum ... chew it!!! Its an oral fixation and if you have something in your mouth you may be less likely to grab the cake
why not shave the beard as your own affirmation of a new beginning? Day #1 .... dumb idea maybe.... sorry... (Is the beard a man thing? I know my 26 yr old son would freak to shave off his so I may be going the wrong way on this?)
it was what popped into my head when I read your post
Another thing I just thought of: I waited soooooo many years to get control of my eating, I am in no way the expert I struggle. BAD some days! but had I know how much better my life would be just being inside my skin I would have lost the weight YEARS ago, I still have bills to pay, still have hang ups but my every waking moment isn't about my body image any more... There isn't moment to moment anxiety about clothes, I don't have anything to wear, situations , OMG I am the largest person in this room!
I never realized how self involved I was until the weight came off.... do it!!!
YOU CAN!!!!!
This is the first time I've read your blog so I'm writing without knowing any background. I agree with Mary that you need to get temptation out of your house. It's much harder to control the office environment, but my husband faces two boxes of 24 doughnuts each morning and does not indulge. Carry your own safe snack if you have that challenge.
ReplyDeleteKarla hit most of the other points in her comment. Since you're already lost some weight, you know that consistency is key. For two years I ate fine through the week and like a starving moron on the weekend. I stayed above my goal weight until I made the decision to get on the new WW program and stay on it. Hope this helps. :)
Shave. You mentioned you kept the beard in part to hide your face which you thought was too heavy looking.
ReplyDeleteUnplug the TV. Don't use the computer. It's almost summer - get out there. Go for LONG walks.
You've come so far - don't get hung up at this stage.
Try harder ...eat less, move more.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're feeling frustrated. I know what it's like. I feel like I've been stuck for the past 4 years. Once you find that thing that will light a fire under your butt, you'll get on the right track again!
ReplyDeleteI'm just starting out in my huge weightloss journey. Stop by sometime, and we can be cheerleaders for each other!
http://baileysbellybattle.blogspot.com/
You can do it!
Tomorrow is June 1st. Excellent timing for a restart! Get yourself ready with some good self talk today, post a helpful note on your mirror or fridge or car, and then make June 1st your stepping off point to the next round of weight loss. You can do this! Be brave. Have courage. Do it!
ReplyDeleteI wrote that as much for me as for you. I'm ready for the next phase. Join me?
Sorry that you've been in a rut for a year. You asked for suggestions. So I'm giving you one. Eat exactly the same each day for a week. Spend two weeks planning what you'll eat for that week. Before March this year, the longest I'd lost weight for was 6 consecutive weeks. I'm on 14 weeks now, thanks for eating almost exactly the same thing each day. Cravings are way down also.
ReplyDeleteMyfitnesspal.com
ReplyDeleteWatch your sodium! Log everything you eat. The pounds will come off. I promise.
hypnotism
ReplyDelete