My Cousin, Michael, died last week. He had been having heart problems and he just didn't wake up on Wednesday morning. We weren't close. In fact, I haven't seen him since I was a kid. But he was still my cousin.
Like me, Michael struggled with his weight. He was 40 when he died. I know I'm not him, but I want to live a lot longer than 12 more years.
I want to change my weight and lifestyle, but I feel hopelessly stuck. I'm so frustrated that I haven't been able to lose any weight for the last two years. I made a change once and lost a lot of weight, but the scale has been creeping back up. Time after time, I tell myself this is the time, but it never pans out. I don't know how to do it again. I don't know how to repeat the success I had when I first started this blog.
I can feel the weight coming back. I can see it in the mirror, I can feel it when I sit down. I can feel the extra fat all over my body. I feel disgusting.
I want to keep going. I want to finish what I started. I want to live a long, healthy life. I just don't know how to do it.