Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Starting Over

I did it.  I weighed myself.  295.2 pounds.  I've officially circled back.  I feel ashamed.  I feel frustrated.  I feel helpless.  I can remember that I was taking off 2-4 pounds a week, but I can't possibly see how it was possible.  I've gained it ALL back and I'm scared.  What if I can't do it again?  What if I get stuck again.  What if the weight never comes off and I die early, unhealthy, and miserable.  

I have to try again.  I don't know if it will lead anywhere, like all of the false starts I've had over the years.  If I don't try I'm fucked.  May as we'll give it a go and see where I can take it.

My wife bought me the beach body p25.  I completed the first workout tonight.  I did entirely the modified workout, but I moved my body for 25 minutes.  I'm sure I'll be feeling it tomorrow.  I don't normally buy into things like gimmicky videos, but I promised I'd give it a shot.  So here I am, spinning my wheels.  Let's see what I can do.


  1. You go! You will feel a little bit better every day. You might just have inspired me to give it another try myself.

  2. Glad to see you back....I check periodically to see what you're up to. You know what you need to do - you did it before, just do the same things again. Eat less/move more.

  3. I've been there... and back.... then lost it again... then back. More times then I care to admit. 2X in the last decade I got to the point I had a 6 pack.... I'm currently the 2nd most I've ever weighed. Occasionally I find something that re-motivates me. Your blog was it this week. I've read some posts from every year you've been posting. I've read about some of your successful times and some of your relapses. I got something from each one. Overall I read about someone who has never given up. Even in the worst of your relapses you kept that desire up. I'm motivated and grateful. Good luck. Keep trying, I'll try and do the same...