I went offline last week. Work was hard and I wasn't following my plan as well as I had hoped. I felt like my weight-loss journey was on the back burner again. And I had barely gotten started.
So those nasty, negative, painful thoughts started swirling around in my head. You can't do this, you've failed so many times before. The only time you've ever succeeded was when you had loads of time. You could go to the gym every day and you didn't have a kid. Work was stressful, but you were underemployed and HAD MORE TIME.
You're right, internal voice. I do have less time now. But that doesn't mean I should just give up. I'm sure to write less here, and the path ahead my be a little slipperier than it once was. That doesn't mean I have the right to give up and put my health and happiness on hold until I feel like the time is right.
The time isn't right, but the time is right now. I have to get healthy. Not make excuses. Not feel sorry for myself. Not get caught up in other things. I need to be healthy for myself, my career, and by far the most important reason, my family.
So I got my fat ass on the scale this morning. 284.6! That's a loss of 6.6 pounds in two weeks!
I can live with that.
So instead of that nasty negative voice in my head telling me what I did wrong. I'm going to tell it (and the entire internet) what I did right.
I (mostly) stopped eating desserts. All the excess sugar from candies and cakes and treats and sweets made me so hungry. I probably have something sweet to eat once every couple days because I don't trust myself to moderate. I can't have small amounts of sweets every day because I'll just want more.
I slowed down on other carbs. I'm not eating a ton of bread and pasta. But you had spaghetti last night. That's right voice, I did. And I enjoyed the hell out of it. But I'm planning healthier meals.
I've stopped beating myself up about fat consumption. I'm not inhaling sticks of butter, but I'm not searching for low-fat foods either. Low fat foods are usually more processed with hidden nastiness. Fat is a source of energy, just like any other, but it doesn't set off my hunger the way sugar does. I've even had bacon a couple times the past two weeks.
So there it is. I've got a long road ahead, but I lost 6.6 pounds and I'm damn proud of that. And whenever that negative voice rears its ugly head, I have 6.6 pounds of ammunition to fight back.