Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Trying Again

So I'm back.  At least, I'd like to be back.  I have some serious doubts about whether or not I can succeed this time, but I have to at least try. 

Over the past few months I have been engaged in the most spectacular backslide of my life.  As of writing this post, I weigh 285.4 pounds.  That's nearly a 45 pound gain from my low a couple years ago.  Nothing I own fits anymore.  My jeans hurt me if I wear them for more than a few hours, but I refuse to buy bigger pants.  I have been eating because I've been stressed, I've been eating because I've been tired, I've been eating because I'm ashamed of my eating.  I am bigger than I've been in a few years, and I don't want to be big anymore.

I don't have any new tools.  I don't have any answers.  I'm not an inspiration to anyone.  I'm just a fat guy who doesn't want to die in his 60s.

So where to begin?  I'm going to start using the gym membership I've dutifully held but seldom used over the past six months.  My goal this January is to do what I did three years ago: go to the gym every day for three weeks in a row.  Tonight marks the first of those visits.  I spent half an hour on the elliptical and three minutes on the stair climber (that thing isn't fun).  About 250 calories all told.  It's not spectacular, but it's a start.

Well, in the spirit of the new year, here's to new beginnings. 


  1. Every little step is a step it the right direction. I haven't counted a carb or calorie that has entered my head in months and I am down to two pairs of jeans that fit.
    It's time.
    Let's do this!

  2. Andrew, I'm still out here. Still trying. I'll be rooting for you!

    1. Thanks Alan. It's good to hear from you.

  3. SO GLAD you are back!! You CAN DO IT.

  4. I’ve been following your blog for years and wish you all the luck. You know what you have to do – consume less calories than you burn. The gym is a great start, but the kitchen is where the real challenge awaits.

  5. You have people here who are rooting for you!!! Please be kind to yourself during these next few weeks. If you don't get to the gym every night for three weeks, it is ok and it doesn't mean you are a failure. Going to the gym even 3X a week is more than you've gone for the past few months, so celebrate the small victories and don't expect perfection right off the bat. Small changes that stick are the best kind of changes. Cheers!

  6. I'm doing what you are doing. I'm going to lose 100 pounds this year. Plus I'm going to try to do it with cycling like you have. Good luck. You can do it. You've been so close.


  7. You are an inspiration... but PLEASE stop saying "you want to see how fat I am?!?" Fat is such an ugly word... you need to build yourself up. You are doing an amazing and brave thing in opening your weight loss goals to the world. You can do it! And you've inspired me to try too. :O)

  8. I'm right there with ya - let's do this!~

  9. Hey there. Just wanted to drop a line and say that you've taken the first and hardest step, which is not starting, but starting AGAIN. There seems to be alot of us here with ya, so keep up the good work! I too am GOING TO lose 100 lbs this year. I was always big, then lost alot of weight and then gained it back over the past 4 years. It's time for a change huh? Anyways, just wanted to say great job, and I will most likely be dropping by once an awhile to gain some inspiration from you. Feel free to do the same :)


  10. So i have also decided to change my life into a healthier one. I have always been over weight since childhood and i have decided that the only person who can change my weight is me. And if i don't change it now im gonna die before my kids grow up. And i have also seen my daughter following in my foot steps and i want her to have a healthy roll model. So i have been using a phone app that counts calories of my intake the calories i burn and water intake its really cool way for me to not over eat and not get over whelmed doing the counting myself. I have found a fun way to get exercise Zumba i love to dance. But im looking for some way to blast some belly fat.i have physical limitations with my back.any suggestions welcomed. Im am happy to have found these blogs. Thanks.

  11. Be kind with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. I find when I'm most out of control with my eating it's because I'm disapointed with myself, or hurt emotionally and using food to numb my feelings, which causes me to self loath, and the cycle gets worse and worse. As corny as it sounds, love yourself. Don't beat yourself up when you lose control with your eating. I find I do that, and i found there's someone who was harsh with me when I was young. When that person was no longer in my life I took up her role in my life of being harsh and I found myself jumping through hoops to make myself feel worthy. Yet there was never enough hoops, even if i did make it through them all i didn't do it well enough, or I fell off the wagon after I accomplished my goals, so the cycle of self abuse continued. Your worthy my friend. If so many others love u, shouldn't you? They can't all be wrong.