I feel fat.

I feel like the weight isn't really coming off. I feel like I'm just chronicling my day-to-day weight fluctuations. Yes, I'm feeling better by going to the gym. But I can spin my wheels all I want without dropping any substantial weight without dealing with the 800 pound gorilla in the room, my diet.

It's not like I eat that poorly. I cook for my wife and myself. I try to do everything to limit my fat intake. I substitute turkey for hamburger a lot. I rinse the fat out of hamburger I brown. I drink diet sodas and try to eat low-fat foods in general.

The real problem with my food intake lies in two places:
1. Portion control. I get soooooo hungry and eat soooooo much once I'm done cooking.
2. Snacking. I love to eat snacks. Snack's give me the energy to get through the day if I'm tired or stressed. I love Oreos, I love Junior Mints, I love popcorn, I love ice cream Snickers bars, I love caramel, I love potato chips, I love everything that's bad for me.

So what am I going to do about this? I need help dealing with my eating, but I don't know what to do about it. I've tried Weight Watchers, but I've had trouble sticking with it. And, quite frankly, I don't want to pay that much money for a set of weight and calorie tracking tools I'm going to abandon in a couple months or, more likely, weeks. I've also tried to just be mindful of my intake. I'm absolutely terrible at this. I can't do it. After a little bit, I just give up and gorge. No matter how resolved I am to restrict my intake, my cravings win in the end.

This eats me up (pardon the pun). I feel so helpless and entirely out of control. I don't know what to do next.

On a final note, my weigh in today made me decide to only weigh myself once a week. I fluctuate too much to benefit from daily weigh-ins. It's so disheartening to weigh more than I did five days ago. I need to be able to see progress.

I need to go gung-ho for a week. I don't know if I can do it with all the holiday eating coming up. I may just be able to tread water...

AHH... This is what I'm talking about! I gave up before I started. I am such a self-handicapper. Starting Monday, I will not weigh myself until the following Monday. I will eat as healthy as I know how. And I will put as much time in at the gym as possible. Let's see how much I can loose in a week.

Weight: 294.5
Pounds Left: 98.5
Days Left: 354

A Look in the Mirror

Today I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in a t-shirt. There's definitely a difference. I look trimmer and slimmer. I think that's the most important thing. My weigh-in said differently though. I really need to stop weighing myself every day. It can be extremely disheartening when I fluctuate.

On another note, the weather outside is frightful. I'm taking a night off from the gym tonight. To compensate, I did some running down the halls of my apartment building, which is about half a block long. The hard part was running up and down the stairs. Though I didn't go for very long.

Weight: 293
Pounds Lost: 3
Days Left: 355

I'm tired

I'm running on fumes at this point as I was up waayyyyyyyy past my bed time last night so I'll make this brief.

I got a phone call today saying I'd won a free month of gym dues. I think it's a sign. Success is on its way.

I went to the gym tonight and worked my butt off a little longer than normal. Half an hour on the machines rather than my normal 20 minutes. It doesn't sound like much, but I'm making progress.

I think I may want to try to run a 5k sometime in the future. I need to drop a substantial chunk of weight first, but maybe I can do it as I near my goal.

That's about it. I'm going to skip the weigh-in tonight because I just had a bunch of water and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like what the scale says. I'll weigh myself again tomorrow.

Good night.

Why do I keep eating like this?

I am terrible at eating right. Seriously awful. Despite that, I seem to have been able to lose a few pounds. Maybe it's just fluctuation, but I need to reign in my terrible eating habits if I'm going to make my goal. I've also been putting off going to the gym all day. I just want to eat and eat and eat.

Weight: 292.8
Pounds Left: 96.8
Days Left: 357

I Am A Sinner

I sinned. I went three days without going to the gym. I also ate at Buca di Beppo today. My rationale: I had a coupon. I had a phenomenal lemon chicken with fettuccine Alfredo.

Anyway, I'm definitely going to the gym tonight. Gonna stay a little longer and work a little harder because I feel like I've been slacking lately.

One last idea. I'm considering starting a photography project where I take a picture of myself every day. I think it will make a nice addition to this blog. I may start tonight. I may start next week. I may not start at all. It's just rolling around in my head right now.

Weight: 293.7
Pounds Left: 97.7
Days Left: 359

I missed a day

Yesterday, I neglected to make an entry. To make up for it, I will be writing two today. I didn't forget to write, I just put it off until after I went to the gym, which didn't happen last night. I sluffed two days in a row and need to get back to work.

On the other hand, I did make some fabulous low-fat chili. It's super easy to make too.

1 Lb Ground Turkey
2/3 Cup Water
1 Can Corn (Drained)
1 Can Salsa (16 oz or so)
1 Egg
Chili Powder To Taste (I use Franks Red Hot Sauce)

Brown the Turky and Drain
Add Water, Corn, Salsa, Egg and Chili Powder to the Turkey
Cover and Simmer for 15 minutes.

I usually serve cornbread on the side. Apparently, you can make dumplings of it as well if you pour the batter right in before you simmer the chili. You can also add whatever else you like. I'm not a bean-eater, but I'm sure a lot of people would like this recipe with beans.

Weight: 295
Pounds Left: 99
Days Left: 360

It was a little too good to be true.

So I discovered today why I shouldn't weigh myself every day. I'm back to 295. I know a lot of it is just day-to-day fluctuation, but I'm a little discouraged that I didn't really lose 6 pounds in 2 days.

At least I'm still below my starting point. I think I need to examine my eating habits.


Weight: 295
Pounds Left: 99
Days Left:362